Being Brave

So my birth sister said to me a little while ago that things are easy for me because I was the bravest person she knows. Brave, are you kidding me? I have spent years being afraid of everything, and how did I handle it; by diverting the attention away from me with humour or doing something else better, something I knew I couldn’t fail at. I am not brave I just know that if I want a fulfilled life I need to push past my fear, put on my” big girl” panties and deal! There is no science to it; you just have to do it.
This brings me to my fear and apprehension for today. Jesse my trainer has talked, or should I say encouraged me to do this workout competition through his gym. I was excited about it until today. Today I am terrified. Tonight we do the fitness test and tomorrow is the beginning photo shoot. Crap! I couldn’t sleep last night worrying about it. Why am I scared, nothing really changes other than I work out harder and it is still with Jesse who I am comfortable with. So what is my problem? I think it is the word competition that is freaking me out because as much as I say I want it for the workouts and the changes in my body, I also want to win. I do not want to fail and I am entering uncharted territory for me. Competing in an athletic competition, me, Sally King, the girl born without a “sports gene”? What the hell was I thinking? Things like this are for athletes, not me. This is my brothers domain, mine is in the kitchen…right? Well apparently not, apparently now it is for me, Sally King, girl born without a “sports gene”. Well here goes, this is me pulling on my “big girl” panties and dealing. Jesse says I am an athlete now. I guess I am going to have to take his word for it, what else can I do? He has not led me astray before, so I will have to just trust. Gee, my “big girl” panties don’t look too bad, too bad they are spandex. Stay tuned as I will keep you posted. Until next time.